Kelly Moss

Hi! My name is Kelly Moss, and I am a senior transfer student on the women’s soccer team at the University of Pittsburgh. My story begins at Notre Dame, the university where my collegiate career began and the place I transferred from to start a new journey toward reaching my highest potential as an individual, scholar, and athlete. I played at Notre Dame for three years, with injuries and mental health struggles along the way (as any student athlete can attest is part of the territory) and began to face a point in my life where every day I was “at my lowest.” It was then that I decided that my environment was a huge part of the reason I could no longer fit in to the community I was a part of without sacrificing my identity, my values, and my opportunity to develop into the best version of myself. Fast forward about 9 months later (I know, a long transfer process) to the first day of preseason at a new school and with a new team. August 3rd. It’s beautiful outside— sunny and 80 degrees. I am the happiest I have ever been, having lived in Pittsburgh for about a month, taking summer classes and playing summer ball while getting to know my new teammates and building chemistry on the field. I’m extremely excited for the fall season and ready to take on the biggest challenge of my life yet. 45 minutes into our first preseason practice, I strike the ball and one of my teammates flies through my left leg while attempting to block my long ball and forces my knee into hyperextension. I immediately feel a sharp pain on the outside of my knee but brush it off and continue playing. I was in denial that anything more than a small tweak had happened for many reasons. 1) I had hyperextended my knee before but all it took was a thin piece of pre-wrap over my knee to stabilize it and I would be good to go. 2) It wasn’t any more painful to play on than the injuries I had in the past, so it couldn’t be worse than a tweak. 3) Preseason just started, we were only halfway through the first practice, and I needed to keep playing in order to prove myself as a teammate and contributor. And 4) I was so excited to be in a place where I was both extremely happy and finding my love for soccer again. Nothing, not even a torn meniscus and pain while playing, could take away the joy I experienced that day. I played through the rest of that practice as well as the afternoon practice later that day, knowing that something was wrong with my knee and hoping that it was just one of those nagging injuries that I could deal with and continue to play through. I was very wrong. That night, I couldn’t sleep. My knee was so painful that any movement made it worse and kept me awake. Both the intensity of the pain and the worry and stress I experienced due to the pain were enough to change my mind and prepare for the worst. As any knee injury goes, my athletic trainer checked my knee out the next morning, she asked the physical therapist to check my knee as well, and they both agreed that it was probably fine, but it would be a good idea to have the doctor come out to our facilities to look it over and confirm their suspicions. We all thought I would be fully recovered by day 7, but an MRI to confirm would be the safest way to go just in case. I was relieved and looking forward to a quick recovery. 3 days after my injury, I come into the training room to get treatment, ready to hear the good news about my knee. About 30 minutes into physical therapy, I realize that practice has already started, and I am the only one left in the training room. “You tore your meniscus; we are setting up an appointment with the surgeon on Monday to decide where to go from here. We don’t know exactly what it looks like on the MRI and won’t be able to see it until your meeting with the surgeon, but the notes indicate you tore your meniscus.” Immediately, my heart shatters. Tears are everywhere. This was not the plan. This was not the biggest challenge of my life I was anticipating, and I was certainly not prepared. I began to doubt all that had happened leading up to that day, especially all the huge life decisions I had made with transferring and building a new home for myself. I could see every goal I had set dissolve in front of me in the matter of seconds. I saw all these visualized images – of playing in next week’s exhibition games, playing in my first home game, scoring my first goal for my new team, traveling with the team, meeting with the coaches every week to discuss film, putting in extra work out at the fields, and building friendships and chemistry with my teammates – completely vanish and dissolve in my mind. But there was one thing that kept me from shutting down. I needed a new plan. I had to switch gears from being the transfer to being the injured player. I knew that I needed to change my perspective, find the bigger picture, and set new goals. I promised myself I would be OK, and the first step was leaning on my family and friends. I reached out to Bailey (yes, the Stronger Scars founder who posted this) and asked for advice on how to change my perspective and get through the injury. I called her before meeting with the surgeon and explained my situation and how upset I was, and Bailey responded with three key pieces of advice. She told me “Worry about what you can control. Right now, all you know is your meniscus is torn and you’re meeting with the surgeon on Monday. Until then, take it day by day and focus on doing your best to not fall into the victim role. Yes, injuries are terrible and it’s not fair, but everything happens for a reason and focusing on learning the bigger reason for why you are experiencing this will help you come out of this a better person and teammate.” 1) Focus on what you can control. 2) Take it one day at a time. 3) Don’t be the victim because everything happens for a reason, and you will be OK. With these extremely important pieces of advice, my perspective on life changed and I was prepared to do everything in my power to make a strong recovery and come out on top. I ended up getting the arthroscopic partial meniscectomy on my knee with an expected 8-week recovery. Taking it one day at a time, I focused on new visualized images and let them motivate me. Images of walking, running, cutting agility, touching the ball, passing the ball, playing in practice, and playing with the number 26 on my back all motivated me through each step of recovery. I did rehab, therapy, and physical therapy up to three times a day and managed to fully recover in 7 weeks. I decided to red shirt the season so that I could fully prepare for next fall and come back better and stronger. The past 6 months of my life – transferring to a new school, building a new home, overcoming an injury and surgery and rehab – have changed my perspective on life and have built me into a stronger woman who is grateful for any opportunity to develop into a better version of myself no matter the situation.